In a perfect world, Ryan Schendel would be right 100% of the time, all the time. Unfortunately, Ryan's "skateboarding & life film" 'End Times: We fucking love them', did not see the light of day, as the end times have came and went.
#9 - Schendelini's claims of 'becoming black' prove false
One of The Mayor and Schendelini's favorite post session past-times would most definitely be the playing of the PS1's definitive skateboard entertainment game: Thrasher: Skate and Destroy. During one such evening of post-skate debauchery, Mr. Schendel shared with The Mayor and I an anecdote from his past: as one may or may not remember, Ryan has been 'tan his whole life'. His uncle may or may not have referred to a young, very tan (as he has been his whole life) Ryan as 'ni**er boy'. It was then questioned, and Ryan gave an exact time and date during the summer that his complexion would achieve it's darkest darker-than-Caucasian amount. The quote is as follows:
"July 28th, 5:40 pm, I will be black."
Unfortunately, this, like Ryan's end of the world prophecy, remained untrue.
#8 - Josh VanVliet begins skating, attempts to bring the backside noseslide's downriver relevance back single handedly
In a move not seen by anyone, Josh VanVliet began skating again this summer after a three-four year hiatus. In a complete opposite of myself, Josh can only perform backside tricks. White Bread is hereby seen as the only crew that contains two backside/frontside only skateboarders. It remains to be seen whether or not Josh's attempts are in vain or not.
#7 - Allen Dillard quits quitting smoking for the second year in a row
After a few solid months of attempts in the beginning of the year to give up the filthy but cool looking habit, Mr. Dillard gave up, and began smoking again. Sweat levels and increased amounts of extra t-shirts in Allen's backpack increased exponentially.
#6 - Secret Society premieres, gets insta-hated on
On July 22nd, around 15(?) people gathered to watch a DVD filled with faux-VHS glitches, Juicy J, and Ian Rye. It remains to be seen how many people at the premiere actually knew there was a video premiering. A few humans have taken to a new level of disagreements with the footage-disc itself, appearing to be sacrificed with a bic-lighter on Instagram. It is safe to say that White Bread apologizes for this atrocity in skate videos, as a free DVD without any sort of hype or DVD/box art/box in general has high standards to live up to. "Detroit was cool, though", the instagrammers maintained.
#5.5 - Ben Schwandt appears on Drugs, Inc.
In quite possibly the second or third 'hoodest' moment in skateboarding history (#1 being Kareem Campbell's mid line pager check, #2 perhaps being Matt Bentley skating out of state on that lean), Mr. Schwandt, The Mayors favorite part of the Love video, had a brief moment of cross over popularity (much like Jason Dill's much more significant but yet much less hood appearance on MTV's The Osbourne's), appeared on National Geographic. "They got blow in they pockets."
#5 - go skate day in detroit happens; Brewster obsolete
#4 - Whitebread wins at social networking
In the middle of summer 2012, Ryan Schendel finally procured his dope boy phone and joins Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram, and made good on his word that he would become a "Downriver social networking icon". This is seen as noteworthy, as it is the first occurrence of a Schendel prediction on this list that is correct. Meanwhile, Allen and Mike York became Instagram buddies, and Ke$ha followed Allen on twitter.
#3 Donovan Stock becomes MVP of downriver
Donny, if you see this, lets film a video part.
#2 Scott Sharba no longer has the title of Downriver Pappalardo
The title was revoked due to there being less similarities than originally thought of. However, there is a newcomer to the throne (hasn't skated in a month, woodworking, art: ring a bell?).
#1 The go to low key night spot in Detroit gets power-washed
The eastern market higher than average curbs became a hot spot for those wishing to skate in Detroit (but not necessarily film anything legit) this summer more than any other time period. A certain 'Someone' we know happened to memorize the code for the circuit breaker, and the lights being off was no longer an excuse to not skate there. This may or may not be the reason the waxed portion met its demise. Sorry, guys.
Have a safe and happy new year.